Sunday, September 26, 2010


("bitches and shit")
Cincinnati Bengals:
The Bengals were a big surprise last year. They functioned well on both sides of the ball, and were fun to watch. Success is rare in Cincinnati because they really don’t win anything ever. What boggles my mind most about this team is how many douschbags they manage to stuff onto one roster. Benson is an asshole (i bet). The only thing I took away from Hard Knocks last year is that Palmer is a dick, and Ochocino is just too fucking dumb. I know hes entertaining and good hearted but holy fucking shit!! Terell Owens will be right at home
-The Bengals come in second for the prestigious best team in Ohio Award!
-Sorry Browns I was implying Ohio State is the best.
-Also isn’t Cincinnati University pretty good? Probably third best.
Baltimore Ravens: This is an old fashioned smash mouth, hard running, hard chargin team this guy could be proud of.  The Ravens just seem to be getting better. Flaccos putting it together, but hell he doesn’t need to. Ray Rice is a total killer. But not a real one, that team title still belongs to Ray Lewis. (remember he killed those two guys.  Then he did a subway commercial, pretended to convert to Christianity and we all forgot? Well know you remember) The defense on this team is of course still good. They cannot be run on or thrown on. I recommend opposing teams be conservative and knee( me and the guy above consider punting foreign and dangerously elaborate)
-Seriously he killed two guys
-Baltimore is often called by its nicknames “charm city” or the more popular “lets just drive around it”
(downtown cleaveland shortly after Lebron went to Miami)
Cleveland Browns- Theres no town like Cleveland. The city on the lake, Ol rusty.  Nowhere else outside Chernobyl can you find so many abandoned buildings and errant radiation. You have to admire the people of this fair wasteland. There known for there blue color work ethic and tendency to break down and sob intermittently throughout the day. When they get the free time from scowering this lunar wasteland for food or suicide, citizens of Cleveland can watch the Browns. Apparently many years ago the Browns were relevant. Then again so was this city(ive been told). Those days are just myth now. This team is going to take a long time to get good. I would actually rather not continue writing. This is making me sad
-When there is a rainbow in Cleveland it usually chokes on smog and dies.
-Every year santa forgets to go to Cleveland
-With the disappearance of a certain basketball player Cleveland has had to resort to its pre lebron economy. Selling barnacles and teeth to North Korea
 (get your rape face on!)

Pittsburgh Steelers: The only thing you need to know about the Steelers is that everyone hates them. If you didn’t know this you are a steelers fan and should go fuck yourself. On the very small chance you are a Pittsburgh fan and actually reside in Pittsburgh you have my apologies. But to the horde of confused unrelenting fucks who root for this team when they have no right to, go die. 8-8 they are not beating Cincinnati or Baltimore.
-seriously go fucking kill yourself
-roethlisberger does not rape bitches the same way he does not win games. HE MANAGES GAMES! AND HE MANAGES RAPE!

1 comment:

  1. It might just be my eyes but your content is a little hard to read. Fix it please, Ill follow you and check back later to finish reading it, it hurt my eyes too much! Lol