Tennessee Titans- CHRIS JOHNSON
(Is it even close? if ur gay or drafted Schaub on your fantasy team its not. And if both, well im gonna assume your already jerking it)
Houston Texans- Whos sexier? Easy question, Matt Schaub and the Texans offense. Andre Johnson is the best receiver in football. Texans will start slow with the running game. Then there gonna sex it up with the long ball all day(extra point=money shot?) and Who gives a fuck about their defense?(I don’t)
-If you have an erection your not the only one
-if your erection isn’t from the schaub picture you are the only one (right guys!.... I mean right?)
(don't worry we will!)
Jacksonville Jaguars I'll keep analysis short. Some points will be scored. All of them by MJD. No one will watch.
- Nothing interesting has happened here since the Brunell days.
Indianapolis Colts: Everyone knows Peyton manning is gonna throw a billion touchdowns from a cloud and the colts will go to the play offs and we’ll all remark about how damn funny his commercial are and what a nice guy he is. (all true id hug him). So what I will talk about is why the fuck does this city have a football team? For Christ's sake this team used to be based in Baltimore. Believe me I'm not heralding the civic accomplishments of Baltimore. Baltimore's like Mordor just with less culture. But at least it’s a goddamn city, it’s a port, has a large population, and isn’t just a fucking rest stop for truckers or people who happen to need a bathroom. To be fair Why does Green Bay have a team? But at least there’s football history there. I dare someone not from Indiana to name something of value in that city that’s not the colts or a steak and shake. Unless someone actually does correct me case closed( unlikely as I'm eliminating the comment bar. Game set match) on the one hand maybe I'm just ignorant of the situation. On the other hand fuck Indianapolis-Indiana is the first collection of off highway McDonald's to be recognized as a state.