Friday, October 1, 2010

PRESEASON breakdown EXPLOSION AFC east


The Patriots- it seems every year people like to pick against the Patriots. I know we all hate them but you have to respect there evil magical abilities. It doesn’t matter who the pats lose they will always find more souls for Belichick to harvest and make into a football playing monsters. I have every reason to believe that the Patriots will once again win this division. I know the jets and Bengal are good. I just think New England has shown to be too consistent to pick against.
-          Sure Wes Welker's ACL is busted but the collective homo erotic will power of sports writers everywhere should bring him back to playing form. Worked with Favre.



New York Jets- The Jets seem to be universally admired by everyone this year. This is confusing as normally anything sports related coming out of New York causes me irrational anger, but the Jets are really that likable. Rex Ryan is the kind of coach who reminds you of your uncle. If your  uncle was an excessively large man with a good sense of humor and coached a professional football team (if that’s a description of your uncle congratulations because your uncle is Rex Ryan)Mark Sanchez leads the offense(at least from when he gets the snap until he hands it off) I think Sanchez will avoid a sophomore slump because you can only mess up handing the ball off 45 times a game so much.  The Defense will of course dominate, and I assume Revis will be back. The Jets need that shutdown corner and Revis needs money for food and shelter. They’ll make up.
-When Braylon Edwards is your top receiver you find reasons to run the ball.

The Buffalo Bills:
In recent memory the Bills have really sucked. I don’t see that they have really done anything to change that. The defense is decent at home and the offense is really just a prime example of mediocrity.  Lee Evans is a good deep threat receiver but he can’t throw the ball to himself. That ability is reserved to the Breesus’s of the world.
-Cheer up Buffalo, hockey seasons not too far away!

Miami Dolphins:
The Dolphins are a professional football team located in Miami Florida. NO OTHER TEAM IN THE WORLD CAN SAY THAT ! think about it.
-FEAR CHAD HENNE

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